Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
