and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
