i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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