We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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