Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
