I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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