When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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