I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
