he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize