Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You are a genius and a whore.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize