Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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