I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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