I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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