you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
