i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
