First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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