I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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