Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
