So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
