I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
