Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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