ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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