Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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