I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize