his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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