big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize