i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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