He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
