So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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