i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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