Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
