your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
