i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
