God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
