i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
