It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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