Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
