Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How external is "for external use only"?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
