Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
