my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
wow bdsm is so cute
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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