Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
