Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
