I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
