She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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