I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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