Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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