Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize