The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
