Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Girls should come with a carfax report
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Randomize
