Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize