Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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