ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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