Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I touched a dick in church today
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize