when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
