all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
