I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
