holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
