then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
